[31:10]  TS — Absolutely. Like using my call center example, maybe not hold the headset with your neck all in a crank, but we can get you a headset so you don’t have to hold the receiver to your ear. You know, there are a lot of tweaks that can be made and should be tried before you get to the point where you just can’t do it.

That’s another thing too. We talked about this on the last episode, but employers are going to want to work with you. It is so much more expensive, takes so much more time, more lost revenue and downtime in replacing you as an employee, than helping you get the accommodations you need to be able to continue doing your job.

[32:02]  TS — So, this might be a good time to talk about: How much do you say when you need to talk to your boss, either about accommodations, or should you tell them about your illness even if you don’t need accommodations? Let’s talk about that a little bit.

[32:25]  JH — That is such a fine line. I think: 1. It has to do with your relationship with your boss. I’ve had a really good boss. I’ve had a really, really bad boss. And the really bad boss, I probably wouldn’t have shared anything with her. The really good boss, I was lucky to have her when I was dealing with my diagnosis, right after that. And she really worked with me, and I helped educate her and even some of the nurses that I worked with. So, I think it depends on that. But one thing I want to stress is that it’s all confidential. So, even if you have a workplace accommodation, your boss can’t go out and say, “Well, Tami has a workplace accommodation, so you’ll have to step up.” That’s really uncouth to me.

[33:32]  TS — Right, right. Exactly. Exactly. What about those employees who are like, “How come she got the cool desk? How come she got the cushy chair? How come she doesn’t come in until 10 o’clock when I have to be here at eight?”

[33:46]  JH — “Well those are things that are confidential between me and Tami, and we have worked through some of those issues. And, right now, we’re just trying it out, and she was the lucky one that got it.” You know, it’s just in how the supervisor chooses to twist it and address it in a positive manner. Of course, it’s positives, people, positive.

[34:10]  TS — That’s right. Now, if you have a workplace that’s large enough, I would imagine your HR department is probably the first place to go if you have one. Is that right?

[34:26]  JH — You can either go to your boss or your HR department. So, either one. But tell them as much as you feel comfortable with or as little as you feel comfortable with. And it may just be, “I have some medical issues and I need some assistance in doing a couple of tasks.” It may be as simple as that.

[34:55]  TS — And, unless you really know your boss and know how they’re going to react, I would imagine that a smart move would also be to test the water — and do little bits at a time, and see how they respond — before you just go in and give them the whole story.

[35:15]  JH — Yes, absolutely. So, you don’t want to go in and say, “Okay, I can’t be here at 8:30. I can’t lift 40 pounds. I can’t do this. I can’t do that.” What can you do? You know, just a little bit at a time. And, like Tami and I both stressed, it’s individual — very individualized, according to what you have with your fibromyalgia. Because even with fibromyalgia, mine is not the same as Tami’s, and neither one of ours is probably the same as yours. So, it’s very individualized, and if you need help talking to your boss or to your HR department that you need help with accommodations, I would recommend a Coach, someone that’s familiar with that.

[36:16]  TS — For sure. Just like we can help you know how to have conversations with your doctors, we can also walk you through how to have those conversations with your bosses — and even fellow coworkers, if you feel like you need to share something with them. Sometimes, it’s not about what we share, but how we share it that makes the difference on how receptive somebody is. 

Like Julie was just saying, if you walk in and say, “Well, I can’t do this and I can’t do this and I can’t do this,” as an employer, that’s going to totally put me on the defensive of, “What are you here for, then? Why am I employing you, if you can’t do your job?” 

But if you go in with the attitude of, “How can we work together?” And go in with, “I’m having a little bit of trouble doing this particular task. What can we do to help make sure I can do my job?” Or, you know, “If I just had this one small thing, it would allow me to be a better employee.” There are so many different ways you can have that conversation that makes them more receptive.

[37:29]  JH — It’s all in the delivery of your message. Absolutely.

[37:34]  TS — I would say that for most of us, it’s also going to be better to have that conversation earlier, rather than at the point when your boss is thinking, “Why am I paying this person? They’re never at work on time. They don’t get their work done on time. When they do their work, it’s not very good.” It’s a whole lot easier to go in before you get to that point and say, “I need some help.” They’re more apt to work with you than when you get to the point where they’re already thinking about how they’re going to replace you.

[38:12]  JH — Right. So, you want to really look at that. There’s just so much that you want to do, really. But you don’t want it to reflect on your performance evaluation. You don’t want to wait until it gets to that point. You want to start the conversation early and work up. I think a little bit at a time.

[38:39]  TS — So, speaking of starting the conversation early, what about if you’re looking for a job, how much do you say in an interview?

[38:51]  JH — Well, normally, at least the interviews that I’ve been involved in, they will give you the job description and say, “Can you do this job, with or without accommodations?” And then you can say, “Yes, I can. But I’ll need some accommodations.” Or, “I can do it with or without.” The thing that you have to remember is: if you can do the job with accommodations, they need to try to adhere to those or try to work with you on that, and not just say, “No, I can’t do it.” Because then it’s discrimination and they don’t even know what you need help with.

[39:41]  TS — Right. And it could be something super simple. Any other thoughts you have about special work accommodations or somebody who wants to start thinking about this?

[40:00]  JH — No, not really, that I haven’t talked about. I would just stress: maybe try the assessment that I have. If you’d like the toolkit, email me or let Tami know, and she can get a hold of me. You know, always talk to somebody, because I think that you need to talk to somebody before it gets so bad that you’re looking at disciplinary action or it’s reflected on your performance evaluation or that you’re terminated.

[40:35]  TS — Or that you’re at the place where you’re thinking, “I just need to file for disability.” Like, let’s not get to that point.

[40:41]  JH — Right, right. Talk to somebody, whether that’s a Coach, whether that’s a friend, whether that’s your boss, whether that’s HR, because sometimes it’s just bouncing something off somebody and working through it.

[41:01]  TS — Absolutely. I think that’s one of the things that… We think we have to have it all figured out. And, sometimes, you need somebody to problem solve with, brainstorm with. I know Julie with her experience for sure… You know, if you went to her and said, “Hey I’m struggling with this thing, and I don’t know how to fix it”, she would totally have ideas for you. That’s what she does.

[41:30]  JH — Sometimes, it’s even the objective party that is one of the best benefits, because we are so into it and we feel that’s our normal. And it may not be normal, but it’s our normal. But, you know, we’re out here, where a coach or that objective third party can see it in a different light.

[41:57]  TS — Right. Both the good and the bad. Right? So, you know, when we’re talking with you about how big of a struggle it is to get to work on time every day… We can see this might not be a problem yet, but if we don’t fix this, it’s going to be a problem.

[42:19]  JH — Right. We have an emotional attachment, and a third party can take that emotion out of it.

[42:28]  TS — For sure. We also talked on the last episode, about the fact that if you’re having that thought of, “I don’t know, should I ask for help with this?” If you’re having that thought, the answer is probably, “Yes.”

[42:41]  JH — Because you’re already past the point of a conversation, because we don’t realize how much we really need it.

[42:51]  TS — Exactly. And I just want to add one thing here — and this may or may not be part of Julie’s wheelhouse, but because I have a bunch of different Coaches that I have trained, I just want to mention — I had a Coach who actually helped a student who is in a graduate program get some accommodations around school assignments and how to do testing and some of those kinds of things. So, while we are talking specifically about work accommodations, this same type of thing applies to school, as well. Whether you’re in college or even a teen in high school. There are a lot of things that can be done.